welshie's wanderings

Barcelona - 'Saviour'

I woke up one morning having not slept very well the night before and i really just wnated to go home. basically, i felt rubbish and i didn't wanna be doing the mission anymore. I'm not gonna hide it- that's how i felt! It was blatantly the devil having a go but it hit me REALLY hard, probably coz i'd been SO 'up' so far in the mission. So i prayed that i'd feel better but even as i prayed i knew i was praying half-heartedly. So i prayed, "God, please will you break my heart again today with the message of what You've done for me..."

Be careful what you pray for...

That morning we studied Mark 15. And as i read about Jesus going to that cross again it hit - completely as if for the first time - the meaning of it. I was completely speechless! (Which i know is a big thing for me!) It really hit me, as if i'd never heard it before. God broke my heart. And i wrote a few poems ove the next day or two around that theme. They're kinda similar, but also kinda different. They're not perfect, but in their imperfection they express i guess the fact that my head - and heart - were whirring.

'Saviour'

Crucify!
Cry the blind.
Blind hearts,
Blind minds.
Why, Lord?

Jesus, You are King,
Everlasting, never changing.

Jesus You are powerful -
Stormy waters You still.

Jesus, You are Holy,
Of praise, so worthy.

So why, Lord?

Why stand and let the monsters
Spit
Flog
Whip
Hit
Mock
Why, Lord?
Why?

Demonstrate Your power, Lord,
With a thunderous roar
Rip open the heavens
Tear apart the earth.
Let them see the might,
The power You are worth.
Bring an ending to the dawning of any new day…
Why don’t You, Lord?

And Your answer…

By my wounds, you are healed.

28/9/05.

My cry is…

Mocking, scorn,
Rejection, hate,
Laughter, denial –
‘We want blood!’ –
They cannot wait.

Crucify!

Rumours, lies,
Envy, deceit,
Chaos, malice,
Power of injustice
Given by a ruler, weak.

Crucify!

Spitting, hitting,
Humiliation too,
Beating, whipping –
Soldiers, rulers, people,
Who know not what they do.

Crucify!

Pain, turmoil,
Screams, shouts,
King, creator,
Silent remains –
Lord, tell them what it’s about!

Crucify!

Hung, pierced,
A body in strife
Caused by those
To whom You gave life!

Crucify!

You die.
Thirst satisfied.

Why?

A thunderclap
Curtain torn
Stone rolled back
No longer mourned
Death defeated
Life with no end
Hallelujah, Lord!
My knee I bend.

But wait.

Looking, searching
A bloodthirsty crowd
Shock, horror –
I’m screaming as loud

Crucify!

Forgive me, Lord.

And as each day
In my sin
I shout anew
Crucify!
I’m sorry.

Bended knee,
Life restored,
Sins forgiven,
Washed anew,
Purpose known,
I stand in you,
And cry instead

He is risen!

28/9/05 Barcelona

posted by Welshie @ 10:39 pm